Dying to your ego..
Where to start with this one…. Have you ever had an idea or a dream that you knew you were supposed to put effort in? You could refer to this dream or idea as your “purpose” what God/Universe has called you to do. And as you start to work on this dream or idea you start to see how great it could be if you really put time and effort into it. In working on it you realize what could come of the dream scares you more than anything else in the world! Why does it scare you? What’s holding you back? Well, the answer to this question is YOU! It is your dependence on yourself and a false sense of what you have accomplished. This is also known as the ego.
What is the ego? Oxford defines ego as a “person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.” Let’s break this down. The ego is what you think you have accomplished in your life. It is the idea of the life you have created. Here is the issue, you have not created anything at all, at least not on your own. If anything, you have co-created your life with God. As we go through life we start to lose sight of whose we are and what blessings we have. To be totally honest, many of us only recognize what God/Universe has done for us in times of trouble or crisis. Our norm is to default to “I”, and “me”. These “I” and “me” statements boost the ego. Here is where it gets good, these statements fly right in the face of our faith. Well, what is faith? Oxford defines faith as “ complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” The word complete is the game-changer in that sentence. How can you have faith in God when your actions show that you have complete faith in yourself? Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” I don’t know about you, but even as I write this it is making me a bit uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable because I know and speak about faith intimately, but my actions and the hesitance in making moves based on what I think or feel is not a demonstration of faith. It is a demonstration of doubt and we know that faith and doubt can’t exist in the same space.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is the reason my life looks the way it does. I have countless examples to show it was not me, but God moving things and placing me in situations that I could not be in on my own. I also know that just like you, God has given me a mission. God has blessed me with this dream, this idea that has been with me for years. It is one of my oldest memories. I can recall this idea coming up at various times over my life and taking time to consider it but not until the last two years or so have I put any effort into “trying” to do anything with it. Why you ask? Well, I thought the career I had was a better fit for me and my family. Sounds pretty arrogant, huh? Okay, it sounds stupid! I convinced myself that my job/career was safer and more predictable than what God provided me. (Insert judgment here. No really, go for it!) Yes, God did allow me to secure the job to provide for my needs, but God also “gifted” me this idea. The idea that I have free-will to work or not work. Now, as we all know there are positive and negative consequences to every action. I realize that there have been negative consequences that I have endured because I was being disobedient. For me, the negative consequence was experiencing financial problems, in spite of my “good job”. Yup, I will admit it. This was not due to being irresponsible with my finances at all, this was a God-ordained storm to open my eyes to the fact that I was being deliberately disobedient to the explicit direction given to me. This next part is going to blow your mind, I have weathered several of these God-ordained storms and still would debate with God and make other things a priority because it seemed like the “best” choice for me and my family. Yes, I debated with God, I am a work in progress just bare with me.
God/Universe has a sense of humor and will meet you exactly where you are in life. I recognized God orchestrating things my life to show me that it is not you and this job that you call safe is all smoke and mirrors. What I heard from God sounded a bit like this Yes, you have your plan for your life and what that looks like, here is a gold star for your plan. But I AM GOD! As GOD, I have given you a thing to do and it will be done! Now I may not be the most intelligent child God has but I recognize patterns and if I keep experiencing the same trial it’s because there is something wrong. I have been called to die to the ego. This is not a one-time thing, this is something I am going to have to do minute by minute until it becomes a habit. I want God to use me, and I want to be obedient. I want to not only have an understanding of faith but to be a living-breathing demonstration of faith. For me to accomplish this I have to check-in and keep myself accountable to ensure I am not backsliding into my comfort zone of “I” and “me”. Here are some of the practices I am using to ensure I continue t make progress:
Daily prayer-meditation - Time spent just “being” with God. Being open and vulnerable with God. I do this multiple times a day. My routine is to start with this as soon as I wake up. For me I am thanking and praising God for being God, taking every care I have and talking it over. There are many ways to do it, but I talk to God the same way I talk to a friend, my best friend. I talk to God the way I communicate with you. I am quiet, and I listen because it is a conversation. You will hear God. I admit this takes some practice, but it is possible. I check in with God multiple times a day, it is not always a very long time, but I do check in to ask for God to assist and be with me. This checking in is vital to dying to the ego.
Commit to work. Allocate time each day to work on what God has gifted you. I like to spend time immediately after prayer-meditation in the morning to work on purpose. For me, I think it shows God that I do take it seriously and am properly prioritizing my day. We all are busy and have a million things to do but Gods work come first. Now this might mean that you get up a bit earlier so that you can have some dedicated time prior to starting your day, but it is worth it.
Consistency - If I am consistent in the first two bullets opportunities will be presented to me multiple times a day to work on God's work. It is true God will make a way, and this is confirmation that you are working in purpose and you are being obedient to God. You will feel such a charge of positive energy when you are doing God's work. God will send you people and support to assist you in the work he has called you to do. This has happened so many times that when it happens my reaction is like “Who sent you? How did you know?” I know it’s God, but I am still pleasantly surprised when it happens.
So I am challenging you and me to be consistent with our practice of dying to the ego and living not by what we have created, but working toward what God has called you to do. If you are in a place where you are unsure of what God has called you to do, I would suggest that you be consistent in prayer-meditation. God will answer, and when you receive that answer be ready to demonstrate faith and not suffer the crisis of the ego as I have.
I love you and I want more for you than I want for myself!
Be blessed!